Chromakey Dreamcoat

Why worry? How would that be beneficial to my emotional well-being? How would that be beneficial to my health? I’m not saying it could hurt to be cautious but when those cautious thoughts become an obsession, it becomes worry. You begin to feel anxiety. My definition of anxiety is the fear of experiencing emotions. To fear something that is so natural, one would lose the right to having emotions. Or experiencing them.

Living in the world is stressful, it’s busy, and cluttered. Living in the world is time consuming, boring, and yet it is necessary. We all have a responsibility to live. As soon as we begin to fear the responsibility we lose all ability to be responsible to it. It is a catch 22. A spiral. Infinite in design but rather hard to break free of the cycle. So as it stands, the impact of worry, stifles the productivity and creativity that would promote the responsibility to complete mundane tasks of living.

Fear not! There is hope for our minds and discomfort. There is rest through responsibility because it means we are living life and regarding ourselves as individuals worth being alive.

Although there is fear about accomplishing what is necessary, it does not mean one has to be driven to the point of abandoning duties. But oh how it feels to be knowledgeable of the disadvantage of fear. There is loudness in the words the consume ones thoughts. Words of failure.

I say to these thoughts, “Be quiet! Be still! For there is more to life than responsibilities! There are times dedicated to peace! Times dedicated to play! Places and stories to tell and to see! For this is life!”

Tonight, I hope that I sleep.

Here comes the depression. Today, after everything crazy was done, I settled into the state of worthlessness and undesire. As my future flees my feet, my confidence has nowhere to lay but on the ground on a path behind me. I don’t have a connection to anyone around here. The only people that I truly care about live far enough away that I feel alone. There are only a few friends I can truthfully trust, all of them males, and none of them here. Where to go? What to do? What to think about?

It’s not a risk anymore. There isn’t a reason to be scared. There isn’t one thing a person could say to stop me. I’m gonna say what I feel, I going to chase after the people and the dreams I have. There just isn’t a risk.

Today will be my last rule for awhile. The past few weeks, I have found it difficult to write worthy life lessons and universal truths.

I believe I had a moment of great change but now I must spend my time apply the rules in my own life.

This won’t be the end of my rules, but rather waiting for the next wave of change. I wanted to leave everyone with a little food for thought: Robert Kennedy’s speech annoucing the death of Martin Luther King Jr.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6mxL2cqxrA

Robert F. Kennedy Announces the death of Martin Luther King Jr. at a rally in Indianapolis Indianan. April 4, 1968

Ladies And Gentlemen,

I have bad news for you, for all of our fellow citizens, and people who love peace all over the world, and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and killed tonight.

Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice for his fellow human beings, and he died because of that effort.

In this difficult day, in this difficult time for the United States, it is perhaps well to ask what kind of a nation we are and what direction we want to move in. For those of you who are black—considering the evidence there evidently is that there were white people who were responsible—you can be filled with bitterness, with hatred, and a desire for revenge. We can move in that direction as a country, in great polarization—black people amongst black, white people amongst white, filled with hatred toward one another.

Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and to replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand with compassion and love.

For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and distrust at the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I can only say that I feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man. But we have to make an effort in the United States, we have to make an effort to understand, to go beyond these rather difficult times.

My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He wrote: “In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness; but love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or they be black.

So I shall ask you tonight to return home, to say a prayer for the family of Martin Luther King, that’s true, but more importantly to say a prayer for our own country, which all of us love—a prayer for understanding and that compassion of which I spoke.

We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times; we’ve had difficult times in the past; we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; it is not the end of disorder.

But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings who abide in our land.

Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world.

Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people.

Rule #50: “In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” - Aeschylus

God, you always take care of me. I’m sorry I distrust you at times. :/

Who defines the box that strictly confines? Is it I or society? What can one do to explore desires and mankind acknowledge the quest as remarkable. Can one live outside of society and still partake in its colorful arrangement of individuals with meaning?

I am upset to think that my future pertains to years worth more of education. There is no liberation when you live within societies boundries. I say, “I want more than this life has to offer me here, I need a life of change, fulfillment, and community.”

I feel lost when I think about much I can do and how much I have not done and how much there is left to do. I am upset that I am not as strong as I need to be, to accomplish all that I wish to achieve. I am upset that I’m in a situation that I lack a community that encourages my talents and challenges my ideas. I am upset that I carry all the tools and opportunities but do not have people asking to borrow my tools. I am upset because I am not where I should be and I need to get out. I need to live a life with movement on every level. I need to get out of this town that promotes solidarity and lack of ambitions. I need an environment that is awake as soon as I am up. I need to get the FUCK out.

I feel so trapped at times, it could drive me insane. I feel that I accomplish nothing, I feel that I amount to nothing. I feel alone most of all.

I always feel alone. I never wanted to feel alone. But oh how I am alone. There isn’t anyone to share what I feel inside my heart and soul. God bring me something divine, something that will encourage and challenge me daily. All these people here are not living life to the fullest.

Rule #49: If you want to say something. Say it.

Rule #48: One can find freedom when they stop making excuses.

‎Rule #47: It’s okay to let someone in. It’s not okay to lose yourself in doing so. No one needs you more than you do. - Syd Abel

I want to live in a world without holidays.

I want to give gifts because I want to, not because I’m obligated.

I want to decorate to express the beauty of what I see, not the conventional beauty of others’ ideas.

I want to celebrate because of what is important to me, not because it’s tradition.

I want to stop the hour long waits in a check-out line, the unmoving traffic that lasts for miles, the propganda shoved down our throats, and the insanity holidays dictate.

I want to get rid of traditions and practices.

I want to live in a society of change and forthcoming, not a society that believes what their ancestors thought.

WE CHANGE AND GROW SO THAT WE MAY NOT ACT AS WE USE TO.

WHY DO WE VALUE THE THOUGHTS AND IDEAS OF THE PAST THAT WE HAVE CHALLENGED AND DISCREDITED?

I ask anyone to give me a good reason to believe in traditions that have lasted hundreds of years?

This is the Age of Aquarius, FORGET THE PAST, WE ARE THE FUTURE!