I can’t make sense of how I’m feeling. My heart has been taken from me. It’s been pulverized and made to slip through the cracks of my broken flesh. I’ve cried and I’ve cried and no one hears, or they hear, but decide to not take action. This is all on me, it’s never someone else, it’s never an excuse, it’s always been me. But it hurts it hurts it hurts. I can’t even cry myself to sleep, I just lie awake in tears. Nothing is wrong, most everything is right. Why am I dissatisfied…Why am I dissatisfied? My body aches, it’s cold, it’s feverish, and sick without sleep and care. No food, no water, infections and sickness. I wonder if anyone knows. They have left me. I feel unwanted. I feel old and done. I wonder if they’d care. I wonder if I’d care. This means nothing tomorrow. This feeling is not real. But oh how it hurts, hurts, hurts…No where to belong, no where to run to feel safe. Alone, abandoned, imprisoned in this home. I’m done with being trapped, how does one escape?
And here I sit, in front of this screen, in hopes that someone will come rescue me.